januaryxembers

new hair thanks to tiffany!!! yay

bought the new funeral for a friend cd and i love it sooo much!!!!! and i also bought a change in pace wich is prety good too.
so exams are done. arkasnas tommorow. going to be really fun. and backstreet boys concert with erica!!!! in august whooo hoooo
goodbye <3

today i went to toronto with tiff and benny.  it was really fun.  we went walking around and then headed to my friends show at the reverb.  saw britt and her friend candice from hamilton.  two cool people.  we just stayed for my friend band and then left.  on the way back to union station we saw alexis getting ready for the mmvs and ugh... theyve changed. i was like yelling and everything and they completly ignored me </3. meet britt and candice again and took the train home with them.but all in all it was a great day.               

wow... its amazing when your with people who care about you.  you just completly forget about life and actually have a good time.  Ive come to realize that i can go on without you.  Yeah, i love you and i will always remember you and smile to the thought of you.  but ive finally relized that i dont need you.  You were so amazing in everyway.  beautiful, funny, cool.  not one thing wrong with you.  but ive been through so much pain lately that its like ive gotten over you.  I still need you in my life.  just not in this bonding type way.  and i think that you agree with me too.

Ugh... this is so fucking retarted and so painful. I cant bare it anymore.
All i know is that i want to be happy. I was only happy when i was with you. When i knew that i had someone by my side with every step i took. Someone who cared for me no matter what i did.
your are my drug and i can never get enough of you. I need you every second.
you know exactly what i want and how to make me happy. no one else could ever make me feel the way you do. If it werent for you i would be nowhere. you have showed me oh so much in just 3 months. you showed me that someone as good as you exists and you showed me true love. you are my everything.
i think of you everyday even when we dont keep in touch.
All i can say is that i will never get over you. I will always love you. I wont give up on you. No matter what it takes.
All i know is that i want you back and nothing else.

On brighter news... schools over.

...and this is were I draw the line...

No matter how hard or how soft it hits me.

Wether it means him or me.

 Love or just feelings.

Regretting or forgetting.

Even if it means the beginning of the end.

Nothing or the perfect sin.

A terrible past or a meaninglss future.

 If it calls for changing my ways or forgetting all the days.

The death of me and the life of you.

All i want is the truth.

 

I'll let you take your last breath.     And even fake your own death.

 

You took a swing and a miss.           from a fling to a kiss.

Yeah thats right i stole it from Gen. i was bored. forgive me :).
001. FIRST NAME: Michael
002. MIDDLE NAME: Struve
003. LAST NAME: Moser
004. NICKNAME(S): moser, arkansas, mike
005. GENDER: male
006. AGE: 16
007. BIRTHDAY: March 19
008. HEIGHT: 5'10
009. HAIR COLOR: reddish brown
010. EYE COLOR: green
011. RACE: white
012. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES/CONTACTS: glasses when i have to read.
013. PALE OR TAN: pale
014. IS YOUR HAIR LONG OR SHORT: medium?
015. WHERE DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL: Gonzaga
016. CURRENT LOCATION: my basement
017. ZODIAC SIGN: picies
018. HOW MANY LANGUAGES DO YOU KNOW: 1
019. NATIONALITY: german, american?, english, irish
020. BAD HABITS: falling in love
021. PIERCINGS YOU HAVE: eyebrow and hopefully more :)
022. PIERCINGS YOU WANT: ears, cartlige, lip maybe, chin
023. TATTOOS YOU HAVE: none
024. TATTOOS YOU WANT: bar code, bullet
025. TODAYS DATE: mat 31st
026. THE TIME: 8 50
027. READY FOR A BUNCH MORE QUESTIONS: heck yes!

. . family
028. DO YOU LIKE YOUR FAMILY: sometimes
029. ARE THEY NICE TO YOU: if im nice to them
030. STEP-PARENTS NAME, IF ANY: -
031. BROTHER(S)S NAME(S): john
032. SISTER(S)S NAME(S): -
033. FAVORITE AUNT: dont know if i have one
034. FAVORITE UNCLE: uncle steve
035. FAVORITE GRANDPARENT: non
036. WORST RELATIVE: my cousin
038. DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: most of the time
039. DOES ANYONE IN YOUR FAMILY UNDERSTAND YOU: no. not even I do.

school...
043. ARE YOU STILL IN SCHOOL: yeah
044. DID YOU DROP OUT: no
045. CURRENT GPA, OR LAST GPA YOU GOT: 77
046. FAVORITE GRADE: ewww non
047. LEAST FAVORITE GRADE: ever one of them
048. FAVORITE TEACHER: mr. shwartzer
049. LEAST FAVORITE TEACHER: mr. kalata.. sexist bastard
050. FAVORITE SUBJECT: lunch
051. LEAST FAVORITE SUBJECT: math
052. DO/DID YOU BUY LUNCH OR BRING IT: bring
053. PLAY ANY SPORTS ON THE SCHOOLS TEAM: pfft. no
054. DO/DID YOU DO ANY EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES: yeah
055. ARE/WERE YOU POPULAR: no.
056. FAVORITE DANCE: the potato
057. FAVORITE MEMORY: to many to name.
058. LEAST FAVORITE DANCE: -
059. LEAST FAVORITE MEMORY: once again, to many

. . favorites
061. NUMBER: 7 or 13
062. CLOTHING BRAND: special blend. or band tshirts
063. SHOES: vans
064. SAYING: gnarcore!
065. TV SHOW: family guy
066. SPORT: soccer i guess
067. VEGETABLE: brocoli
068. FRUIT: bananas, canalope?, strawberrys,
069. MOVIE: eternal sunshine
070. MAGAZINE: Transworld Snowboarding
071. ACTOR: non
072. ACTRESS: non
073. CANDY: not much of a sweets eater
074. GUM: extra
075. CANDY BAR: butterfinger, butercups
076. SCENT: outside?
077. ICE CREAM: chocolate chip mint.. yet i hate chocolate
078. COLOR: black
079. SEASON: fall and winter
080. HOLIDAY: christmas
081. BAND: dont want to start my never ending list.
082. KIND OF MUSIC: emo/screamo/hardcore
083. SONG: the boy who blicked his own shit (right now)
084. RAPPER: lil bow wow ya hurd?
085. TIME OF DAY: right in the morning when the sun comes up.. but im no morning person.
086. YOUR ROOM: my room.
087. PLACE TO BE: anyware but here
088. FOOD: fries or kraft dinner
089. TV CHANNEL: much loud
090. JUNK FOOD: popcorn, chips.
091. OVERALL FOOD: cheseburgers
092. STORE: hot topic
093. SHOE BRAND: vans
094. FAST FOOD: pizza
095. RESTAURANT: kelseys
096. SHAPE: x
097. TIME OF DAY: sleepy time
098. COUNTRY: new zeland
099. STATE: dead
100. BOY`S NAME & GIRL'S NAME: girl - theo guy - danny

Today i had an intersting conversation with my friend emily who i havent seen in years:

EMILY
how come all of the female super heros have huge breasts?
EMILY
wouldn't they get in the way of fighting crime?
ME
maybe it helps them sense danger
EMILY
possibly
ME
or open jars of pickels
not everyone has that power of opening jars of pickels
i sure dont
ME
are you a super hero?
EMILY
twice on tuesdays
ME
o man
ME
cause i sure do have a hell of alot of jars i just cant open...

that was my day.
and i went to toronto with harry to the jazz festival thingy and it wasnt half bad or half good.

Such things of beauty are never what they seem. Yet you still give it everything you have but nothing was worth it. How could such a good thing go wrong? One lie after another is thrown around and these scars will never fade... and there arent enough pills to stop this pain. I believe in love at first sight but i do not believe in love.



Boy: "I cant feel your heart beat..."
Girl: "thats because i gave my heart to you "
but little did he know that such beautiful words could never exist.

Moday was a great day, once again. I left school around 2 15 and drove to mt carmel to pic up krystle. I got there a bit early so i stoped at tim hortons and took a pee break and got some timbits. Then i drove to her school and she got in the car yay. I drove a bit back to tim hortons and my mom drove instead cause she was in a hurry.
My mom dropped us off at my school and i showed her around and allysa was there playing a lacross game. We went to my locker. Then we walked home and i hit my head on the door and her ear started hurting really badly. half way there she decided to climb up this thing... and shes not to fond of heights. so i helped her down with that. We got to my house, sat outside for a bit and was on the computer for a while. Then we just layed down cause we were tired.
We got this crazy idea to go to the movies so we left around 6 15 so we could have dinner and watch a movie. We had subway and then we went to go watch house of wax (not that good). And of course... paris was running around in her underware will someone was trying to kill her. luckily they did.
Then the movie was over and we went outside to wait for her dad. Krystle bent down to "tie her shoe" but she pantsed me instead, underware and all. it was good i guess but cold and imbarrasing. ill get you back next time! then her dad came and picked her up. that was the end if monday.
Today (tuesday) wasnt to good. I got up, already sick, and my mom forced me to go to school. Went to school and started feeling sick around lunch time. Went home last period cause my teacher said i didnt look good and said i should go home. so that i did. Got home and my ipod wasnt working. then i tryed it right before we were going to take it back it started working again. and now its freezing up everyonce in a while. damn.
im feeling a little better now just really tired and dizzy and still have the sniffles.
well im out. peace
ps. a part of me is missing right now. I get it back on friday though! woot. <3

Yesterday around 4 30 i went to krystles and let me tell you... it was just the beggining of one of the greatest days. It first started off of going to walmart then we came back and went straight to medowvale community center for the show. The first bands were terrible. Then they got alot better. All of us skanked (krystle, amber, amanda, bree, and me) it was fun. From there we walked/ran to raba to get some pop corn cause she was out. on the way i pushed her in the shopping cart, it was great. Next time its my turn dear! Then i went to krystles for a sleep over and we had some pop corn and watched a movie. it was great. we watched out cold then we just sat on the couch for a bit and talked. then we went to bed. krystle came in and woke me up about 9 ish but i was semi awake. we left the house about 9 30 10 and got to the banquet around 10 45 or so. It was alright, kinda boring but krystle got a trophy and a camera that she wanted but in the end it wasnt what she wanted. Avery (her neice) got like 3 trophies, im so afraid to go up against her now. Then we went back to krystles for a while to pic up my mothers day git i bought. Then she went and dropped me of at home. Thats the end of one of the greatest weekends ever. Too bad it had to end *tear*.
This weekend was the test to see if i could put up with krystle for a day and to tell you the truth it wasnt that bad. i think i could probably go for another day, then id get sick of her. i kid i kid. i could spend eternity with her and never get sick of her. And we got alot of pictures in the last 2 days. it was swell. love you krystle.

BNO show last night and i cant find a word to describe it... I was with krystle and nicole and her brother and his friend drove us and they just went to a bar. We left about 5 30 to hamilton and the traffic was a killer. got to the underground about 6 15 or so and saw as tall as lions, blue skies at war, the full blast, and bno of course. bno was the best, of course. When bsaw was done me and krystle went for food and had no idea we were headed to. Nicole would have come but she was busy macking the guys. so we walked for a bout 2 blocks and found pizza pizza. yummy. on the way back we headed off to the underground and was going to make a pit stop at the strip bar but i told krystle we dont have time... or maybe she told me that. oh well. So we got back in time to see BNO and let me tell you. i couldnt control myself and was about to hump there leg. Went in the pit a few times. Bought 1 bsaw t shirt, 2 bno t shirts, and one bno hoody :) im a merch hore. what can i say. it was probably the best concert so far. welp gotta go... going to the medowvale show! bye for now.

Ok... so today was a good day. It was a half day so we got out at 11. Krystle called me at 10 30 or so and told me she was going home because she O.D. on some muscle relaxers. I know its mean but it was kinda funny. She was talking like she was baked and was pausing every sentence and what not. But now shes good.
Then i went and got my G1 today around 4. Missed 3 questions but i still passed and so i drove home and almost got hit... but im still alive.

Well im just gonna update you on whats been going on lately...
Yesterday i went to krystles on the bus and got there about 4 and we met up at medowvale town center. Then we walked to tim hortons and had some tim bits and just taked and what not. Then we started our mission home and saw amber and talked for a bit. Then we started walking to her house with our "napkin holder" and we stoped in this park and sat down and just talked and she had a smoke and she wrote me a note. Then we went to her house and had craft dinner (best ever) and watched 13 ( sooooo depressing) then we went downstairs and watched some tv and fought. I kicked her ass but then she kicked mine back... she ended up winning. Ill get her back. grrrrr. Her sister made us dinner so i had to eat some more and i just had a few pancakes. Then her sister drove me to South common and then i bussed it home. I still have krystles braclet ;) and its sexy.

Friday is boys night out!!! whoo hooo. going with krystle, nicole, her brother and bunch of people are gonna be there. Oh man, im so going to die when i go.

Saturday Im going to try to go to krystles when she gets off work and were going to go to a movie or just hang out at her house or go for a walk or whatever. yay. We were gonna do something sunday but i just remembered that it was mothers day so that plan went straight to hell.
oh well.

and thats my momma.

I havent updated in a long time and im really bored so i thought i would do this.
50 Questions


1. What is your name?
Michael Struve moser

2. What color underwear are you wearing now?
red

3. What are you listening to right now?
Me vs. madonna vs. elvis ~ Brand new

4. What are the last 2 digits of your phone number?
90

5. What was the last thing you ate?
rice

6. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
green

7. How is the weather right now?
cold and cloudy

8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
krystle

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite/same sex?
hair

10. Favorite Food?
french fries

11. Favorite Drink?
coke

13. Favorite place to shop?
Hot Topic

14. Hair color:
orangeish brown

15. Eye Color:
green

16. Do you wear contacts?
no

17. Favorite Month?
july

18. Favorite Fast FoOD?
french fries

19. Last Movie you Watched?
anymyville (whatever) Horror

20. Favorite Day of the Year?
none really.

22. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
yeah

23. Summer or Winter?
both

24. Hugs or Kisses?
kisses

25. Chocolate or Vanilla?
vanilla

26. Do you want your friends to respond back?
yes

27. Who is most likely to respond?
i dont know

28. Who is least likely to respond?
jesus

29. What books are you reading?
no book for me

30. Piercings?
eyebrow

31. Fav Movie?
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

32. Fav Team?
no team

33. Fav Hangout?
the lodge or walmart

34. Any Pets
3 cats, dog, guinea pig, and bird

35. AIM?
yes

36. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?
butter

37. Dogs or cats?
dogs

38. Favorite Flower?
roses

39. What do you say when you wake up in the A.M.?
moan

40. Do you still talk to your best friends from intermediate school?
yeah

41. What's on your desk?
cell phone, water, recorder, papers, cards, marker, screws

42. Rock Concert or symphony?
concert

43. Play or Opera?
play

44. Have you ever fired a gun?
yeah

45. Do you like to travel by plane?
if they all speak the same language then yes

46. Right-handed or Left-handed?
right

47. Smooth or Chunky Peanut Butter?
smooth

48. How many pillows do you sleep with?
two

49. City and State you were born in?
Rodgers, AR

50. Ever hitchhiked?
no

Yesterday was a blast. Went to Erin mills with krystle and got our piercings. It was painful but we lived through it. OMG. never go to NRG at erin mills to get piercings. the lady there is terrible. first she had athsma so she couldnt breathe and she was freaking us out. Then she wanted to put our piercings in the worst places. She was looking for a longer industrial for krystle but she couldnt find it so she left for like 10 min and took her bags and everything. she came back and couldnt find anything and this lady came in the room and found it and it was right were it was supposed to be. Then she said to krystle ooppss.... come in on monday for a check up. Since when do they do check ups for piercings?!
well anyways then we went to kelseys for dinner and her sister was working wich was cool. then we went to her house and listened to boys night out and playing with our piercings :)

Today was a very chillin day. Worked on a project but i superviesd so i did basically nothing. Then i came home and my dad gave my a lecture about how i fit sterotypes and what not. I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotelss mind but halfway through it messed up. So then my dad cooked on his new pride and joy (his grill). and now here i am. Ugh... i just now realized how sad and lonely i feel without krystle. I always look over and expect to see her there. I feel so bla without her. Love is such a meaningless word when it comes to her.

Monday were going to Erin mills for that so called check up.

Tuesday oh boy!!! TBS concert and half day so im bussing it to mt carmel after school. Chillin there for a bit and meeting all krystles friends and what not. Then were going to the concert and its going to be rad. like so rad.

thats it for now... i dont want to bore you with my boring life. Like they say "if your bored than your boring"
Goodbye.

Today was alright. I had this exams essay thing due for civics and i think that went well. Then the tutor came over after school and i still failed misserabley. go me. Then i went to get my hair cut. the girl was messing with my hair and she said " ok, now who cut your hair??!!" and i told her it fell out. but then she found out it was krystle. And so she fired krystle. So now the back of my hair is kind short because she had to even it out but it still looks fine. Dont worry darling. I still love you more than ever.

well im going now to do... uh nothing. And tommorow is friday yay! im meeting up with krystle and going to streetsvile to get our piercings. then wre going to her house and just chill. well ill be going now. Good bye.

Yup... well last weekend was a blast! Friday was Sleeper at masonic and it was just.... ugh, im speechless. everyone was there. people i havent seen in a year were there. krystle was there <3. made it 20 times better. amazing.
Saturday i went to krystles after she got off work and we just watched a movie and had some popcorn.
that was my weekend.
Friday me and krystle are going down to streetsville and she is getting her industrial done and im gonna get my eyebrow done. YAY. my dad doesnt really aprove of it but its my body so blah. then i think there is a show at masonic that night so then were going there if there os one.
guitar tommorow. still havent made up the song after like 3 weeks.... i think i have writers block or whatever. Then thursday is the tutor. Then friday.. wooo party. saturday uhh nothing yet. sunday uhh nothing yet.
OMG!!! april!!! yes!!! Moneen, tbs and underoath... greatest month ever!!! then vans warped tour in the summer SCORE!!!
well im gonna go beofre i die from anxiousnous

Today was the last day of school for easter break! yay. And tommorow im going to see krystal. We talk on the internet for like 2 hours everyday so i think were gettting prety serious now. I think im going to her house tommorow to have pizza if she can get off work early. Then were going to go to walmart :). Her mom really wants to meet me and its supposed to be a good thing. yeah... So i cant wait till the TBS concert and Moneen concert!!!! and tommorow im getting undreoath tickets too!!! (im a concert hore... what can i say?) Well im just updating for the first time in a while. Good bye.

Well i went to toronto today with my family for my early birthday and we just looked around. went to the 12th fret guitar shop and im sooooo inlove with it. I played a banjo and this one 3500 acustic guitar... it was great. I also looked at some of the bass guitars wich were pretty cool. I was debating rather to get one or not but then i came to the conclusion of not getting it.
So now here I am, listening to As I Lay Dying and talking to my Arkansas friends. I was supposed to go to the movies with Gen but she decided it to be a girls night. I havent seen her in a week and its making me mad. She better come to the show tommorow night.
Well im going to go now and maybe watch the incredibles.
Good Bye.

I am sooooooooooooooooo freakin confused its not even funny.
Well I havent been doing anything lately just really bored. i miss gen, havent seen her in like a week cause shes been busy. but anyways. Yesterday i went to the guitar shop and played with this 700 dollar effects pedal. it was fun. that was the highlight of my day.
today my mom made me a deal: if i mop the floors and clean the house a bit shell take me to toronto this afternoon. then im supposed to go to nicoles but shes supposed to call me i think.
i really want to see gen because i miss her alot.
and im confused.
but anyways i just decided to update my journal cause i havent for a while and apparently i had nothing to say anyways.
good bye forever.

TEN Random Things About Me
10. im anything but normal
09. im sleepy
08. im sad
07. im bored
06. im a sleep right now
05. im quiet
04. im listeing to a threnody for modern romance
03. my guitar is red
02. i just had dominos
01. im looking at my amp

NINE Places I've Visited
09. Colorado
08. Whistler
07. Cancun
06. Barrie
05. Quebec
04. Toronto
03. Tennessee
02. Hell
01. Kansas

EIGHT Things I want to do before I die
08. Visit New Zealand
07. Get Married
06. Be in a band
05. Sleep for 12 hours
04. Have everyone like me
03. sky diving
02. meet jim cary
01. meet alexisonfire / underoath

SEVEN Ways to win my heart
07. be yourself
06. Dress differantly
05. make me smile even when times are bad
04. have a good personality (looks dont quite matter)
03. honesty
02. enjoy the same music
01. some sort of facial piercing

SIX Things I believe in
06.
05.
04.
03.
02.
01.

FIVE Things I'm afraid of
05. being alone
04. the dark
03. things that are bigger than me
02. heights
01. spiders

FOUR of my Favorite Items in my bedroom:
04. my snowboard
03. stero
02. my collage
01. my cds

THREE Things I do everyday
03. play guitar
02. breate
01. eat

TWO Things I am trying not to do right now:
02. fall asleep
01. think

ONE Person I want to see right now:
01.